Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
