i think my tv is drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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