So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
