But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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