just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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