he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
