wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
