is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My ATM looks so different sober.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize