hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
