To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
