sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize