Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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