You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
