He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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