Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
