I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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