Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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