you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
