i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
