I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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