...so i touched it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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