But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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