Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
