I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize