watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was a blind-side dick pic.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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