Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
