so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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