You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
