Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
