Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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