Little spoons don't ask big questions
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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