..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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