Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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