Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
