So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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