I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
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Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight