did you get engaged???
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.