there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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