I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we made out on top of his cat.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
