Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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