GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
