my sisters under your porch take her home
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize