Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
