what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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