her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
