I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
