I am in a vortex of obligation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
