sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
