i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
