come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
