doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
