My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize