I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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