Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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