"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
