you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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