Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
