Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Welp...herpes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
