im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
