using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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