So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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