i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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