are you still at the devil's house?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
