is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
