I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
