its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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