You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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