I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
not ubering you a puppy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
