You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
