I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
