I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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