He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
