lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
