She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
