Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
